Finding Your "Why" and Slaying the Chaos
“Motivation tends to fade if it’s not continuously being fueled by your “Why”.”
Picture this: a frazzled mom with a full-time job, juggling kids, household chores, and her secret ambition of becoming an author.
How does she manage to get started and finish what she starts, you ask? The secret lies in knowing your "why" - your underlying purpose and motivation for pursuing your goals. That’s how I became the relentless multitasker who navigates the crazy world of parenthood and a full time corporate job while pursuing my writing dreams with unwavering determination.
Uncovering my true motivation
In the past two years, I have often asked myself: What drives me? What am I passionate about? What impact do I want to make in the world? Unfortunately, clear answers eluded me. However, one realization did dawn on me: I was searching for something more in life—to do and to become. I opened myself up to serendipity and allowed life to reveal my options. I began paying attention to activities that brought me joy versus those that felt like chores. Amidst this exploration, the bedtime routine with my two-year-old became my escape. Each night, she would request an animal or an object for a story, and I would spontaneously create tales to her delight. Witnessing the sparkle in her eyes with every twist and turn ignited a sense of joy within me, and I eagerly anticipated these moments. My mother took notice and was the first to commend the quality of some of the stories. This pattern continued for a while until one day my mom remarked, "You must record these stories; she repeats them to me." It struck a chord. These stories weren't merely a routine to help her sleep, only to be forgotten the next day. They resonated with her, and she began applying the lessons in her everyday life, sharing them with me and our family. That revelation gave me a tremendous boost, and I knew I had found my motivation. I wanted to write and publish the stories born out of these beautiful mother-daughter moments we shared every night—for her sake.
Keeping clarity and focus
Now that I knew my “Why”, it served as a guiding light, helping me navigate through distractions and prioritize what needed to be done. I started getting more intentional about the choices I made. Instead of indulging in TV series or leisurely reading during my free time, I dedicate it to research. The period between dinner and bedtime is when I would methodically delve into each step involved. The more I read, the more I knew I could do it. I learned how to say “no” to activities that didn’t align with my goal, be it reducing phone calls with friends or altering my daily routine for cleaning up. I made a conscious decision to prioritize this project over mundane tasks that are non-urgent, allowing me to stay on track and prevent burnout.
building my support system and accountability partners
Motivation has a tendency to fade over time, especially when faced with slightly longer-term goals. My personal strategy for preventing this from happening is to "shout it from the rooftop" - not literally, but by sharing my goals with the people around me. Once I've vocalized my aspirations, I create an expectation, knowing that others will inquire about my progress. This keeps me on my toes, constantly striving to make noticeable advancements that I can report on. It works like magic for me, killing two monsters with one stone (hate to kill birds, even if metaphorically). It helps me establish a support system and recruit accountability partners. My husband, my mom, and my childhood friend in India are my staunch supporters, while my friend Catherine, despite being based in Germany, serves as my unwavering accountability partner. Physical proximity is not necessary to stay on track.
Celebrating every milestone and small success
If you’re the type that loves checking items off a list, you get the significance of milestones. Our brain releases dopamine when we complete individual tasks and that fuels us to keep checking off more items. Taking a pause to celebrate that moment can prolong that positive state and leave you wanting more of that release. So, every little success you have and every little door you open MUST be celebrated. Whether it is with a OMG! OMG! text to your bestie, a social media post, or a glass of wine with your partner. Just give yourself that well-deserved pat on the back, every single time! Oh, and if you think it is bragging, remember, it is not bragging if it is based on facts.
